Life after Death Sentencing

Movement for 7/26/08:

• I'm feeling better. So is Mom. So far we haven't used the wheel chair at all. She's walked under her own steam every place except through the living room, where there is no means of support, where she's used the walker, and very well, I might add. No problem with steps. No throwing herself down when she sits. I'm expecting her to be fully mobile for the rest of the day.
• Mom wasn't too sure of herself when she awoke from her nap. Although she walked into the bathroom under her own steam, she wasn't confident about her ability to make it through the hall, down the steps into the living room and to her rocker. She jokingly asked if I could "carry" her out to the living room...I laughed and suggested the wheel chair, which she routinely forgets. However, after dinner some conversation and a science show DVD she had no problem imagining herself walkering through the living room and walking from the steps through the bathroom into bed. I'm not sure why her confidence was shot when she awoke from her nap, could have been anything. I'm just pleased that it revived later in the evening.

Movement for 7/25/08:

• I suspect, if I'd been feeling better, physically and emotionally, Mom would have moved more today, although the movement I "allowed" her couldn't have been better. She walked under her own steam to the bathroom for bathing, then into the dinette for breakfast. After breakfast she walked under her own steam to the dinette banister, took the steps into the living room and walkered to her chair. She even appeared to have remembered my day-earlier instructions on how to move the walker in order to easily turn herself to sit in her rocker using the walker for support.
• By the time she retired for her nap, though, I was aching again, through my arms and shoulders and, yet again, was laboring under very little sleep. I wasn't interested in having to transfer the E tanks in and out of the floor caddy and the chair caddy more than once and maneuver the floor caddy around while following her while she walked and walkered, so I chose to move her all the way into the bedroom, through the bathroom, in the chair. This allowed for only one E tank transfer.
• In the evening I was feeling even more challenged, since I had a few necessary errands to run while she napped so I didn't get my planned nap. Although she walked under her own steam into the bathroom, I wheeled her to her rocker and used the ramp over the steps. In the evening on her way to bed, though, she took the foyer steps, although I wheeled her the rest of the way.
• Transfers went well in the morning but by evening Mom was disgusted with me and showed it by indignantly flopping herself into the wheel chair so that she, and I had to adjust her for proper seating. She wanted to walk to bed...I didn't want to expend the energy and muscle movement necessary to allow her this...I was exhausted by the time she went to bed and retired at the same time as she.

    It takes more of my energy and muscular power to allow her to walk than it does to have her sit. I've observed this for some time and, most of the time, I fall into line with this, knowing it's better for her to be moving under her own steam. When I am exhausted, though, it is, unfortunately, easy for me to eschew the extra energy and power requirements on my, thus also disallowing her an opportunity to move. That's what happens when there's only one caregiver. Oh well.

Movement for 7/24/08:

• Walked under own steam to bathroom for bathing. Walked under own steam to dinette for breakfast. Walked under own steam to dinette steps under own steam, took steps and walkered well to rocker.
• Stayed up a looong time before napping and was a bit stupid-silly so I insisted on wheeling her to the foyer banister. She took the steps on her own, though, although when I suggested she walk to the bathroom she opted for the chair. Walked under her own steam to the bedroom, though.
• Walked under own steam to bathroom after nap, then to foyer banister and took the steps. I offered her the walker and she took it but her right knee threatened to give out so we switched to the wheel chair. Also wheeled her into to foyer steps, which she took, then to the bathroom and then to bed. Again, she'd overstayed her "welcome", so to speak, and, frankly, she was so tired I was afraid to let her try to walk. She suggested it, I nixed it.

    Even though it seems as though she used the chair a lot, overall it was a good movement day; great transfers, too; stood very well at the sink for teeth brushing in the evening; even added a little flourish to our usual "stretch, drop shoulders, wiggle hips" routine this morning.

Movement for 7/23/08:

• When she first arose she was so hard to rouse that she sat on the edge of her bed with her eyes closed during her first breathing treatment of the day. She was so reluctant to move that, although she didn't fight movement or me, I assumed that we were going to have a third full wheel chair day in a row; I was determined to see how well she was moving and how weak she might be, though, so I asked her to try to walk to the bathroom using the usual supports. I followed her in the wheel chair. Although she was slow and several times I either reminded her she could sit in the wheel chair or came around in front of her to steady her, she made it to the toilet on her own. She revived a bit after her bath, transferred well, but expressed concern about her ability to either walk or walker to the dinette, so I wheeled her to breakfast.
• After breakfast she walked around the table to the dinette banister, slowly, very slowly, but surely, took the banister steps and transferred from the wheel chair, into which she sat after taking the steps, to the rocker with aplomb. Come nap time, though, I insisted on wheeling her to the banister...I just don't trust that walker and have yet to locate one that is sturdy enough for her, two wheeled and has a seat. So, I insisted on wheeling her to the bathroom. She took the foyer steps, though, without difficulty. She also insisted on making her own way to the bed. I allowed this.
• She was much improved this evening. Walked to the bathroom and to the foyer banister; once again, though, I insisted on wheeling her to the rocker. She transferred well. I wheeled her back to the foyer steps, which she took on her own. She chose the chair to get into the bathroom; she was pretty tired; I also started wheeling her into her bedroom. At the door she said, "I can take it from here," surprisingly. She walked to her bed. She also did a great job of pushing her butt back on the bed so that she wouldn't fall out. This is new. Usually she falters at this and I have to move her back.
• Miscellaneous Observation:  She and I considered that maybe, some days, 12 hours at night is a bit too much. I suggested we try 11 hours tomorrow and see how that works. We'll remain flexible on this, of course, but she agreed.

Movement for 7/22/08:

• Today was yet another wheel chair day...full out. She transferred well, actually, and, in the evening when I was so tired I admitted that I might not be able to get her up the ramp from the living room into the foyer she said, in response to me asking if, I wasn't successful, did she think she could make the two steps, she said, "I think so." I tried again, though, and made it. It was clear, from the looks of her, that she simply wasn't interested in much movement. I let her be.

Movement for 7/21/08:

• Ambulated under her own steam to the bathroom in the morning. Stood very well during groin washing...even added some extra swish to the "hootchy kootch" part of our stand-up stretch. Ambulated under own steam to dinette for breakfast. Remained at the dinette table through her entire morning as, soon after breakfast the Hospice Social Worker arrived. Sitting at the dinette table always stiffens her up, though, and she was very tired after HSW left, so she opted for wheeling into the bathroom pre-nap and into the bedroom for her nap.
• Surprised the hell out of me by awakening on her own from her nap without me hearing her and walking, under her own steam, all the way into the dinette, greeting me just before she headed toward the back of the table to sit down. I'm glad I guess I was concentrating so much on posting notes about Final Gifts that I simply didn't hear her. Good thing she hailed me when she did. She was almost out of concentrator cord and didn't realize it. The effort wore her out, though. After her breathing treatment she opted to be wheeled into the bathroom and, from there, to be wheeled into the living room using the ramp. Part of her energy difficulty was her coughing...she coughed a lot today, more than usual. Another part of her energy difficulty this evening, I think, was also that she had a shortened sleep last night and a shortened nap. She seemed energized after her nap, having awakened on her own, but the lag in energy followed her through the evening.
• At bedtime, because she was soooo drifty, I insisted on wheeling her into up the ramp and into the bathroom. She transferred well, though, stood well to brush her teeth and insisted on moving, under her own steam, into the bedroom.

Movement for 7/20/08:

• Of all the monsoon days we've had, so far, today has been the worst, according the Mom's perspective: Muggy, gray, rainy, cool. Even before Mom was aware of what the weather was "outside", I could see her resistance to the day in the way she sat on the bed...as though she was being weighed down by the day. Her right knee is "iffy" today, which has happened only briefly since she returned from the rehab facility; it just didn't want to hold her up. She did manage to ambulate, slowly, from bedroom to bathroom under her own steam. Her knee seemed to be "better", in the sense that although it bothered her when she stood, it didn't bother her as she walked. She stood well during torso bathing and fecal cleaning, too. But, once "out of the gate", her right knee decided it had had enough, I guess. Halfway through the kitchen she sat back in the wheel chair. Transferring from chair to chair at the table was difficult. She managed under her own steam to the dinette banister and took the stairs with aplomb but began to fall apart while walkering to the rocker. It wasn't far so she persevered even though I followed right behind her in the chair. When she approached the rocker she seemed confused about how to maneuver into it with the walker "in [her] way". I pushed the walker away and became her much more responsive walker for the obviously difficult sit down. We still have the walk into the bathroom and bedroom for napping. I'm curious to see how that plays out.
• Without asking, I wheeled her into the bathroom and bedroom for her nap, although, when I mentioned I was going to use the ramp instead of having her take the steps, she insisted on taking them. She was pretty iffy on them.
• We began the evening as a wheel chair evening...including using the ramp to get into the living room. She and I both noticed, though, that she was transferring well. She also perked up a lot after eating dinner. When bedtime arrived, which was around 0130, she felt confident and fit enough to take the steps, even though I insisted on wheeling her to them. From that point on she walked under her own steam into the bathroom and bedroom. As well, she stood at the sink to brush her teeth, which I wasn't expecting. So, although I had wondered, earlier, if this day was going to be a preview of things to come, I guess we're not there, yet. The weather forecast is telling me that we've got a good week or more, though, of days like today, so I'm expecting at least a few more days like today, if not every day while the monsoons are entrenched.

Movement for 7/19/08:

• Walked under her own steam to the bathroom for bathing. Voiced a preference for doing the same to the dinette but decided, once she emerged from the bathroom and saw the chair laying in wait (with which I follow her when she walks or walkers, in case she can't make it to her destination completely on foot) to be wheeled.
• After a long, wonderful visit at the dinette table, during which we had pizza for breakfast (which delighted my mother) and during which she didn't stand up or move for almost four hours (a long time for her to go without movement if she's not sleeping), she decided she wanted to walk from the dinette into the bathroom under her own steam. She made it about halfway. She was determined to continue but she was practically crawling along, using the counters for purchase. I ordered her to sit, which she did, and wheeled her the rest of the way. I noticed that the stiffness that had developed while she'd sat at the dinette table was undermining her transfers, as well; she almost missed the toilet when transferring from the wheel chair. Thus, I directed her to the wheel chair, more or less moving her from the toilet to the chair, after bathrooming and told her she was going to "ride, Sally, ride" to the bedroom for her nap. By that time she seemed to have worked out some of the stiffness and transferred very well, thank you, from the chair to the bed. We had such a good visit at the table that it never occurred to any of us to head outside, today.
• Mom walked under her own steam from the bedroom to the bathroom after her nap. She was, though, fairly iffy on her feet. I decided not to give her a choice into the living room. I even wheeled her down the ramp. She obviously spent the evening completely relaxing after the last of company for awhile. By the time she decided to head for bed, it was obvious, from the way she raised herself just before I rubbed down her legs so I could pull down her slacks, that her body was not interested in marshaling any energy on behalf of movement. Once again, without giving her a choice I set the wheel chair to her side and she didn't argue. She took the foyer steps, though, and all her transfers this evening were fairly good.